I have a 2000 Dodge Ram 1500. It's a 5.9 magnum in it. There's a couple things wrong with it that I can't wrap my head around. For starters, it makes a sucking noise from the air filter time to time and has an engine surge. Also, when I rev it up, it stays at 2,000 rpm for like 2 seconds, than goes back down to idle. Idk if it's a bad MAF sensor, or something. Please help

A family friend experienced a similar problem with his Chevrolet truck, he replaced the MAF sensor and the oxygen sensors and solved the problem. In his truck, the check engine light came on and he was able to read the codes. Is the check/service engine light on in yours?

First thing to do is to pull out the idle air control valve, clean it and the throttle body as well. Use intake/carb cleaner. Youtube has got vid's on how to do this. Sounds like it's dirty back there. The magnum's are notorious for this.

Yes, my check engine light is on. The trans temp light comes on as well when it just sits and idles. I can't use a code reader, it doesn't work. I've tried, brought it into a shop and they tried and failed as well.

Did you clean the idle air control valve and the throttle body as suggested in the above answer? As far as not being able to have a scanner read the codes, maybe the 2000 Dodge Ram requires a special scanner; I can be wrong but, frankly, I don't think so. However, if you want to know what the codes are you may have to end up at the dealer.